Whatchamacallit

It's not what i had seen
It's not what i had heard
It's not what i had believed
It is so much more.
It's in the look in your eyes
It's in every beat of your heart
It's in the warmth of your embrace
It's in the kiss of your lips
It's reflected by the passion that burns in me
It's aroused by the affection my heart feels
It's not just the things you say but how you say them
It's not just the things you do but the way you do
It is you. It is me. It is us together.

What inspires me....

I hate to sound cliche but truly God inspires me.
I am inspired to write when i pray to God and tell Him all that's in my heart.
I am inspired to write poems when i sing Him my love songs in praise.
I am inspired to know what love is when i feel the thousand and one ways in which He loves me and expresses it.
I am inspired as an artist when i see my reflection in His eyes, the way He sees me.
I am inspired to love art when i truly feel the wonder and see it all in His beautiful creation
I am inspired to speak when i hear all He has to say, read on how He feels and what He's promised.
I am inspired to be because I know who i am in Him and who He is within me.

Life lessons - Habits

I have learned  over-time that with habits:

• They do not die a natural death
• They could however be replaced

Either good or bad, with habits, the principle of elimination by substitution comes to fore very strongly;You can only substitute one habit for another.
 It is pure delusion to think you can just get rid of an habit how and when you like. If it takes two mins to develop a habit, it's going to take two years to get rid of it and only by replacing it with another. If there is another way, please drop me a line because I'd really like to know.

Mad as a Hatter?

There is a right and wrong way to be angry. It's easy to feel like it's your life and therefore your choice on your feelings and the expression of said. But there are two things that should guide one's anger process;
1. Be angry but sin not
2. Do not cut your nose to spite your face.
In simpler terms; It's okay to be angry, mad, upset, livid and even in a rage but do not in that flash of anger do things that you'll regret for moments past that fleeting one.
Someone once said, "...to be angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, in the right way, for the right reason, now that is the difficult part...."
You have to be willing to take responsibility for everything that you allow to happen to you and learn to stop shifting/trading blames. More so, you have to know it's not all about how you feel. Feelings fade and that too shall pass.
Do the right and needful thing irrespective of your feelings (which to be honest, tend to be fickle)
Xoxo

To a great man on his birthday

Sometimes I wonder, even out loud, what I ever did to deserve a friend like him. Why have I been graced with the privilege, the honour of saying truly, this is my friend. My best friend.
How many coins could I have thrown in how many fountains?
How many wishes could I have whispered on how many stars?
How many prayers could I have said in how many languages?
How much could I have paid in taxes, levies, fees and bills?
Why was I chosen to be blessed with a friend like no other?
Lucky for me, Mr. and Mrs. Kuyinu decided to get together.
Lucky for me, they wanted to have kids.
Lucky for me, they did, they had a son.
Lucky for me, they brought him up in the way of the Lord, but more importantly he was taught of the Lord.
Lucky for me, he got admission into the University of Ilorin.
Lucky for me, so did I.
Lucky for me, things didn’t go as smoothly as he would have hoped.
Lucky for me, he had to move in with Matthew.
Lucky for me, he wasn’t only on my block or neighbor to my friend but he was also friends with his neighbor.
Lucky for me, my friend decided one evening to look over his poetry journal.
Lucky for me, I happened to be passing by.
Lucky for me, he was big enough to overlook my seemingly snobbish attitude and still kept right on talking with me.
Lucky for me, his writing was captivating.
Lucky for me, that wasn’t the last time we talked.
Lucky for me, he had an answer for even my silliest questions.
Lucky for me, he gave me one chance and then another and then another and they kept right on coming.
Lucky for me, his capacity to love me was far greater than my capacity to be a brat.
Lucky for me, he taught me what love really is.
Lucky for me, I learned.
And since then, till now I have come to know that Seye Kuyinu is one of the greatest gifts God gave, not just to this generation but to me. Mimi
You are a friend, a brother, a blessing and I love you so very much.
Congratulations on getting older and wiser. May your leaves be evergreen, your strength be continually renewed, your wisdom continue to increase and your dreams continue to inflame your heart, Mostly may the eyes and hand of God continue to rest on you so that you continue to be a blessing.

Lots of love (LOL)
It's a little late but blame it on the internet, and my busy schedule and many other things, but better late than never, innit?

Life as we know it

Sometimes don’t you wish that life was like a book or a movie?
When it gets to the horrible bits, you have the option of pausing, fast-forwarding, ejecting, walking outta the theater or simply closing the book, maybe until you are ready to face the horror.
Alas! Life is not like a feature film or a novel, although the scripts are somewhat familiar. You just gotta brace up and live through whatever horror it is you are visited with. More so, you gotta survive it. No, you can’t go right on to the end to find out how it will turn out, instead you go on anticipating the better bits. You keep hoping that your faith is enough to get you through the dark parts. You go on believing that you’ll survive these crummy moments. You are trusting in a power greater than your frail self. Knowing that somehow, someway, at the end of it all, there you’ll be, standing strong.

Him

Xxxx,

When I see you

My heart longs for you. My body earnestly desires you.

When I see you

An hour spent with you is but a minute. The more I am with you, the more I want of you.

When I see you

You are my living pain, my every addiction.

When I see you

Nothing else matters, nothing else makes any sense.

When I see you

I begin to compose sonnets and love songs.

Ballads and Poetry flow freely even though I have no Bardic bone in my 55kg.

When I see you

The world is better again and I'm alive once more

When I see you

What have you done to me? What is the remedy? What is the cure?

This girl is soaring across the skies and singing like a lark.

What my eyes have seen, my heart has felt and the world will testify.

Disclaimer:

I ain't no poet oh. Just a lame attempt at pouring my thoughts into wordsJ

Runteldat

The Message; the world today, see I had been seeing this time and again, until I saw it in a different light. If at least one person can relate, see and understand then my work here is done. You may not like it but you cannot argue the truth therein.

..... but God's angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth. But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse.

What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in His hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.

So God said, in effect, "If that's what you want, that's what you get." It wasn't long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshipped the god they made instead of the God who made them- the God we bless, the God who blesses us. Oh yes!

Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn't know how to be human either-women didn't know how to be women; men didn't know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men-all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh how they paid for it-emptied of God and love, loveless wretches.

Since they didn't bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. And then all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering and cheating. Look at them: mean-spirited, venomous, fork-tongued God-bashers. Bullies, swaggerers, insufferable wind-bags! They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. They ditch their parent when they get in the way. Stupid, slimy, cruel, cold-blooded. And it's not as if they don't know better. They know perfectly well they are spitting in God's face. And they don't care-worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!

The Game

Can someone please tell me the rules of 'the game' and how it works. I now know for sure I'm not one to be termed 'playa'.
So i was on my way to work today, in fact very close to my office when this guy who nearly cleared me off the road with his car went up a few metres ahead and stopped his car. Since he made no attempts to get down out of the car i figured he was either seeking to apologize or ask for directions. It turned out i wasn't absolutely wrong. He was seeking something alright....my number. Anyways, as i was walking past him, almost waiting for him to call out an apology but instead he call out- "Excuse me, Hi. I'm....(for this purpose we'll call him trey cos he reminds me of trey songz a lil bit)...Trey (like i care).
And I'm like-"OK"
"I'm sorry to bother you ...." 
at that point i interrupted, "Yeah, you kinda are cos I'm already pretty late for work"
So he says "In that case is it OK if i get your number so we can talk sometime?"
Then i laughed in a funny quirky way and said "My number? Why? Why do  you want my number? Why would i give it to you?"
From this point i can't recall the exact conversation but i i know it went back and forth like that until we got to where i said " You know what, I can't give you my number but if you give me your card or number i might give you a call.
Then he goes " No, please that's not good enough, I really want your number...."
Anyways, eventually i gave him my word, he gave  me his card and i just kept right on walking. Good thing is that at that time i got an incoming call from my sister, Hurrah for the distraction excuse. Just when i thought it was over, he pulls up again, beside me this time and offers to 'push me'. The irony of the free ride when I've already paid, I'm late but less than a 100 metres from the entrance to my office. Yeah Right!
So there ends the gist of Trey and I. Now my dilemma: 
Honestly even though i gave him my word, I really don't wanna call him. How am i sure that calling him is not giving him the go-ahead to start 'toasting'? Best believe that I'm sooooo not in the mood for all of that right now.
How do i know that if i call him, he will understand that if anything, all i want is to try and be friends? If he should utter a single suggestive word, I'm gonna regret calling him (name change at that point form trey to punk-a**).
What do i do?
Do i throw away the card and my word or do i risk exposing myself to someone who might as well be a psychopath as much as he could be a real good friend. But really, was it friendship he was honestly looking for when he pulled over? I don't have the time or energy for any sorta man-drama. heck, I've not even called and I'm getting a 3-part mini-serial already. Sheesh!

Mad, black single female

You know how it always seems like a good idea to get over last person you were in a relationship with using (for lack of a better word) the next person you meet but it never works out quite that way? I think the English dictionary calls it rebound.
You always feel like it's gonna work this time, and you're always wrong.

You always end up in a lose-lose situation, you don't get over the last person you were with and you're unable to move forward or to have anything meaningful with the next person.
You start something you can't finish and then crawl outta the rink looking out for respite.
Yeah well, if madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result then i'm as crazy as Aro full of loonies.

Legend of the seeker

A lot is said of how hate, malice and grudges are a dead weight to live with and carry around but not enough is said about The Guilty Conscience. Another dead weight that eats at you slowly yet constantly until there's nothing left of your soul. Secrets are the feeders for the guilty conscience but on the other hand who do confessions benefit?
The confessor? Who feels horrible for being the exposer of the secrets that could scar the other person (confessee) probably for the rest of their life. How would he/she ever sleep again? Could they ever be at peace with themselves again knowing the pain they've revealed? Would the confessor not be filled with constant regret over this? Then again getting it off your chest could be a big relief, not wondering what would happen if/when the truth gets out.
Or the Confessee? Who hears a truth they were hitherto unaware of- ergo living in the bliss of ignorance- and consequently their life, heart and soul is forever scarred by the hurt, pain and/or betrayal of the revealed. Is it not true that what you don't know doesn't hurt you? On the contrary, though, all the doubts are removed by revelation and you are able to deal and move on.
So my question is this: are confessions overrated?

To me. On my birthday.

Now this is a song I love to pieces and Most of the words reflect how I feel. This is apt especially on this day. My birthday. I love me and I know I am not a perfect person even if I am as close as it gets (wink wink) but as much as I try (and hope) to improve on this person, I cannot apologize for who I am. C'mon who is perfect, Really?
Brandy Camouflage 
I´m a work in progress
I´m a seed growin' into a flower
I´m a storm that´s rising
I'm getting stronger with every hour
And God knows I ain´t perfect
Tell me who in the world is
All I know is that I´m searchin
For somebody to love me with

These flaws I´ve got
There apart of who I am
Take me or not
But I finally understand
I´m so done trynna to be
everything you want
And I had to stop
Cause baby you ain´t worth it
if I gotta Camouflage
For love, for love
No I won't Camouflage
For love, for love
I won't Camouflage

I need a lot of improvement
Not even half way to destiny
But I´m a train that´s moving
And everyday I´m picking up speed
And God knows you ain´t perfect
So who are you to put pressure on me
that´s why I´m still searchin
For somebody to love me with

These flaws I´ve got
They're apart of who I am
Take me or not
but I finally understand
And I´m so done trynna to be
everything you want 
cause I had to stop
Because baby you ain´t worth it
if I gotta Camouflage
For love, for love
No I won't Camouflage
For love, for love
I won't Camouflage

I´ve learned from my mistakes
The only way you´re gonna be happy
Is if someone's down to take
you when it´s good and
it´s bad you see
I tried giving half of me
In the end I came up empty
And that´s why I´m searching yeah
For somebody to love me
with these flaws

These flaws I´ve got
There apart of who I am
Take me or not
But I finally understand
I´m so done tryna to be
everything you want
And I had to stop
Because baby you ain´t worth it
if I gotta to Camouflage
These flaws I´ve got
There apart of who I am
Take me or not
But I finally understand
I´m so done trying to be
everything you want
And I had to stop
Because baby you ain´t worth it
if I gotta to Camouflage
For love, for love
No I won't Camouflage
For love, for love
I won't Camouflage

If I gotta Camouflage

Cause baby you ain´t worth it
If I gotta camouflage
Baby you ain't worth it
If I gotta Camouflage


Disclaimer: this is not a cry for help or love and it's words do not 100 percent reflect how i feel, but you get the drift, Innit?

Stuff only dreams are made of

The car comes to a halt in front of my office just as i step out of the double glass doors. I can't see anyone through the tinted windows and i can't help but wonder who it could be. Not until you step out, then all my wondering is brought to an abrupt halt, there's a big smile on my face and you can tell that I'm glad to see you. You walk up to me with a smile on your face and that look in your eyes, the look that churns my insides. i recognize the Calvin Klein scent that always precedes you. Your finely tailored Armani suit rests perfectly on you, beneath it your immaculately white well-pressed shirt. All these are lost on me as you get to me and hold my hands to your chest, look deep into my eyes and ask me to do you the honour of taking your last name and spending the rest of my life with you. I stare at you shell-shocked until....

Just saying...

They say "crime doesn't pay", does that mean my job is a crime?

Darn Vegas!

So a few days ago I took a chance and did something...well, crazy beautiful. I dunno why or even care, neither do I care about the aftermath. The only thing I wonder at is how crazy I can be...:). I took a chance, let go of my cares and fears and did something I otherwise would never ever have ever thought of doing. I might never do it again but I did it and a part of me is glad. A part of me is still waiting for the storm to come, but i anticipate it bravely with gusto and my head held high. I am glad I will not have to spend the rest of my life wondering what woulda happened if I had taken the chance and ran with it. Whatever the case. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, so Shhhhh......

I dunno but somehow this song seems apropos

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,
but what if it don't
What happens in my head, stays in my head,
but sometimes it won't
What if you knew what I was thinkin',
would it make you like WOAH,
I don't wanna risk, putting my foot in this,
so I keep my mouth closed
All you hear is...

(mmm mm mmm mm mm)
Can I button my lip so the truth don't slip?
(mmm mm mmm mm mm)
Gotta bleep out what I really wanna shout
Whoops!,
Did I say out loud, did you find out?!
I want to have your babies,
Get serious like crazy
I want to have your babies,
I see 'em springing up like daisies

Some of my feelings keep escapin',
so I make it a joke
Non chalant I keep on faking,
so my heart don't get broke
I'm in a big big big big ocean, in a tiny little boat
I'm known to put the idea out there,
if I know it's gonna float
All you hear is...

(mmm mm mmm mm mm)
Can I button my lip so the truth don't slip?
(mmm mm mmm mm mm)
Gotta bleep out what I really wanna shout
Whoops!,
Did I say out loud, did you find out?!
I want to have your babies,
Get serious like crazy
I want to have your babies,
I see 'em springing up like daisies

Cause in my head there's a slot machine,
and I'm betting your the one in my hopes and dreams
Trust me it would scare you if you knew what was going on in my brain
Trust me it would scare you that I picked the church, or their school, or their names
If you knew it was all about you,
every wish, every candle, every coin in the fountain
Trust me it'd scare you
That's why I go

(mmm mm mmm mm mm)
Yeah, Oh Yeah

(mmm mm mmm mm mm)
Can I button my lip so the truth don't slip?
(mmm mm mmm mm mm)
Gotta bleep out what I really wanna shout
Whoops!,
Did I say out loud, did you find out?! (yeah)
I want to have your babies,
Get serious like crazy
I want to have your babies,
I see 'em springing up like daisies


....Or something like it... *grinning like a Cheshire cat*

My manic Mondays

Growing up, I used to love Mondays so so much. People may wonder how or why. I'll tell you.
Well, it was like this. I had a very strict Dad who was also a workaholic (throughout all his years working in a government establishment, he never took a day off, not even for a sick leave) which was really good for us kids. When the cat is away, the mice kids will play (read: lounge, relax and flex). That was how Mondays came to be my favourite day of the week and Saturdays my worst (aside that my Dad would be home on Saturdays, they were usually house cleaning days).
In the days i left the house for campus, Mondays were not necessarily my favourite days but they definitely were not my worst. Sometimes i actually used to look forward to Mondays, because it was a time to actually show off my new baffs or see some classmates and talk about the parties that happened over the weekend or preparing for the shows coming up that week. Depending on the greatness/newness of my outfit, I was pretty cool with Mondays. All in all i guess i loved all days equally.
When my Dad retired, i became indifferent about all days, they were all the same to me cos the Big cat used to go out or travel only when he needed to and that could be any day of any given week.
Now when i started to work, i didn't love Mondays as much anymore but i know i didn't hate it. In the first days of the job, i loved my job so much. I was working in an organisation i said i wanted to work in, although in an entirely different capacity than i anticipated but whattheheck! I used to love my job so much I'd go to work on Saturdays and sometimes on Sundays after church too. So Mondays were okay by me. In fact when i heard people complain about Mondays i used to feel sorry for them, until recently
Two Sundays ago, i couldn't believe how much i was dreading the day to end and hoping for Monday to not come. You see, it has never been like this for me and it got me thinking....Am i getting bored with work? Do i hate my job? Am i getting frustrated? is it just my job or Lagos in general? Either ways, i don't like the feeling and i sure as anything do not want it. So again  i pray:
Dear God,
Please don't let me turn into one of those people who write poems, songs or books and even build entire worlds of philosophy on how much they hate Mondays. I might not love it as much as Saturdays now, please put the spark back in my Mondays. Rekindle our love life, me and Mondays. In any case Lord, let me be at least okay with it. Thank You in advance.
xx

I'm every woman,and then some.

I may appear perfect, but I am flawed
I may be strong, but I can bend
I may be flexible, but I can break
If you hurt me, I will feel pain
If I feel pain, I will cry
If I cry, tears will flow
If you prick me, I will bleed
When I bleed, red blood flows out of my veins
If you love me, I will bloom
like every flower I blossom 
with tender care and loving kindness
I am all woman, I am all human

Trust

I know you've seen lotta things in your life

That got you feeling like this can't be right

I won't hurt you, I'm down for you baby,

-Keyshia Cole

Now I've been around the earth for almost thirty years, and in all my living and wandering I've seen a lot, read a lot, heard a lot, done a lot and said a lot. Now i may not see or know it all but I know there's a lot more to experience while knowing that these experiences have formed a large part of who I am.

In Keyshia Cole's song 'trust', it just seems like what every guy I've been in any relationship with has been trynna tell me (or maybe I am being too magnanimous with my opinions). Once in a while I try to under-go self appraisal in every department of my life, in the emotions department and relationships sub-unit I have come to realize that i am a major saboteur of the same.

I have been in denial for most of my life; that I am not a product of my past, that my past has in no way shaped or influenced me negatively, that my past is just that, past, that I wouldn't change my past if given the chance to. I have argued time and again that being from an extensively shattered, extremely polygamous home has in no way affected me, my mindset, my attitude to men and relationships. Hogwash!!!!!!!

I find I am wary of every guy I come across that isn't directly related to me (by blood). I am suspicious of every guy I might want to be in relationship with. I prosecute, convict and judge every guy before they even say the first word.

I have survived all of the breaking-up, polygamy, moving in and out of family houses, shuffling and remixing of my family, hurt, pain and much more. I have survived quite alright but I am afraid that beneath all the cosmetic surgery and expensive make-up the scars still remain present and run deep. As a result, I don't think I can survive a bad relationship, though a part of me wants to love and love completely but God help me and the guy who loves me and that I love right back. I dunno if I can believe him even if he repeats Keyshia's words over and over again until they become a mantra.

I still feel that way....

I've seen lotta things in my life

That got me feeling like tis can't be right

You will hurt me

You're down for me (and every other female that bats her eyes at you)

Xxxx

Truth is relative

Like I always say, 'Tell yourself a lie often enough and it could become the truth...to you at least'. I mean, who's to say blue is blue and green is green? How do we know that lilac isn't really crimson, magenta really mauve and tangerine, beige?

Your law is a law unto yourself until I, by choice or circumstance, choose to be bound by your constitution. If I don't want to be bound by the Nigerian constitution I could move to Egypt.

Much as I agree that without laws and penalties chaos is inevitable, yet I ask 'who makes up the rules?' Why should I be subject to a fallible man's choices and opinion on what/who is right and wrong (and these are mostly whimsical)?'

Does that make me a rebel? Maybe. Does that make me irrational? Absolutely not.

Quote mi...

I think you should do what makes you happy and doing what makes you happy is sometimes scarier and harder than doing what is safe-Anonymous

After the fat lady sings....

When the music fades, and the curtains are drawn. When the crowd dissipates, albeit slowly, endlessly but eventually. When the darkness descends like a veil and the subsequent silence permeates even to your innards, You are aware of the solitude into your soul. After all is said and done, all you have left are the memories.

The memories...your memories; the good, the bad, the ugly and the scary. Like a lonely desperate housewife watching re-runs of her favourite soap opera, these memories keep you going. They make the saying "what doesn't kill you,makes you stronger" ring true even in your own situation.

These memories help you come to the realization that no matter how good or bad your issues are, you are gonna get through them and with fond memories too. They make you see things in a lighter perspective, knowing that these things don't last forever. Nothing lasts forever, not winter and not summer, but your thoughts are gonna be with you for always.

When my day is done, late at night, i try to reflect on my life; Past, present and future. I hang on to these memories. The good times I remember overwhelms the bad ones. The nasty scary things I've been through, the stupid foolish things I've done cannot be too much for the good ones to overshadow. So i know now that no matter how bad i feel now, it own't last long. Eventually all the pain will go away and all that will be left with me are my memories.

Life is a long road that i'm gonna have to keep walking; no options, no alternatives. Love is a journey that i'm gonna have to undertake, God help me. On this journey along this road there'll be bumps and stops but like a wise person once told me, "it's all bus-stops taking you on to the next one". I'm gonna have to keep walking on the lonely pilgrimage. The bend on the road ain't the end of the road, so i'll take this trip with my memories as my hitch-hiking partner and i'll be loving every minute of it.

Anger Management 101

Whoever made up the BS-y theory of counting to ten when one is upset missed out on a few salient points:

1. What degree of upsetness does this work for? Annoyed? Irritated? Mad? Livid? Irate?

2. Does this still work when the person or thing responsible for arousing that emotion is still in view? e.g, you are still reading the text message or the person is still in front of you saying those thing that piss you off.

3. What to do with those bottled up feeling that beg to be let loose even after all the different sets of counting have ended?

Pray, do tell.

Does this happen anywhere else in the world? Seriously.

Said one frustrated Nigerian mind to an angry one;

'I think the NEPA or is it PHCN (same terrible difference as far as i am concerned) issue is becoming ...well, somewhat of an issue.'

'Somewhat!!! Did I hear you say "somewhat of an issue"? How's that for the understatement of the century?! It has gone beyond "somewhat of an issue" and has entered the "crisis deserving of a global summit inviting the G8, G28 or G48, whichever is the highest possible level." category

I mean imagine I've been back home for about three weeks now and I can't remember seeing my lights on (not for a fuse crisis at my end, of course), save for a few flashes in the morning just as i'm about to leave for work, it all got me wondering whether i should bother about Christmas lights this December (they got that covered for me already).

Watch a movie? That's being a little too ambitious. The light doesn't ever stay on long enough to finish an episode of them Mexican soaps. Got my Players, DVDs and CDs gathering dust, and my disc-man, and laptop on hyper-drive (they are already protesting, stubbornly too). I ask myself, why bother?!

My laptop? It only works at the office these days(office... generator...getting it now?) one would think that i might as well get a desktop, right there in the office. At least until they make those lappy batteries that last 48-96 hours.

Coupled with the heat and mosquitoes, i find i do not need to bother about night creams or moisturizers, i have gotten the replacements. Odomos and Dusting powder. :)

Generators, you say, are the answer. A part of me is rebelling against gen-sets. Of course, there's one in the house, but all of my life i have not known how to turn one on and i am not planning to learn how to. It's my personal crusade against these gen-set makers/sellers/marketers, who are the major sponsors of this crisis, because of their unfair yet certain proceeds in this(i make bold to opine). Methinks they are the brains (and purse) behind this whole operation. This has got me looking for the latest innovations in torches, lamps and rechargeables.

Besides, it has been discovered that generator emissions are the major cause of death among Nigerian women, due to oxidation and stuff, leading to osteoporosis, cancers and other related ailments (another science lesson for another day). This is usually misdiagnosed or disguised by our failing healthcare system:(

*{Outta breath} * In the famous words of Shakespeare "...what's in a name...", NEPA by any other name would still be as...appalling.

Remix of the conversation between Lil' Red riding hood and BBW (beautiful black woman)

Red: My! What wide nose you have.

Sistah: All the better to take up air with.

Red: But Sistah, what dark skin you have.

Sistah: All the better to fight off the harsh African sun.

Red: What kinky hair you've got?

Sistah: All the better to conserve water in the tropical heat

Red:But Sistah, Why are you so prone to birthing twins?

Sistah: All to better the odds of high rate of mortality and low life expectancy.

Red: Why do you always seem so angry and violent?

Sistah: All the better to ward off any prospective slave traders and ambitious superiorist(is that even a word?) groups

Red: Why are you so beautiful?

Sistah: All the better to attract the other half of our specie (we gotta keep up our depleting race, ya know?!).

LOL. Musings of a mischievous mind.

To the one I love, at valentine.

This just happens to be my favourite love song and it reflects all the ways i'll ever feel.

"I'm Jealous"

If I were the moon, I could
catch your eye--I'm jealous of the moon
If I were the wind, I would
make you fly--I'm jealous of that too

I wish I were the sun shining
on your face--caressing like a lover
I would wrap you in a warm embrace--
we'd be holdin' one another
(I'm jealous of the sun)
I'm jealous of the sun
(Jealous of the sun) Oh,
I'm jealous of the sun

Oh, I don't wanna share you with
nothing else--I gotta have you to myself
Oh--I can't help it--I'm so in love--
I just can't get you close enough, no

[Chorus:]
When the sun's on your skin--
I can't hold it in
And I know it's a sin--
but I'm jealous of the sun

I wish I were the rain runnin' down your
neck--and drippin' from your fingers
Then I could be the drops rollin' off your
back--I'd love to let it linger
(Jealous of the rain) Oh,
I'm jealous of the rain

Oh, I don't wanna share you with nothing
else--I gotta have you to myself
Oh--I can't help it--I'm so in love--
I just can't get you close enough, no

[Chorus:]
When it rains on your face--
I almost can taste
Your beauty, your grace--
I'm jealous of the rain

[Instrumental Solo]

[Chorus:]
When the wind's in your hair--
the way it blows through the air
Oh, it's seems so unfair, yeah

[Chorus:]
When the moon's in your eyes--
you seem to light up the skies, yeah
And I realize--
I'm even jealous of the moon

Love and airports:)

Don’t you just love airports?

The anxious families; either waiting to start off their family vacation already or keen to get home, unpack, rest and be over with it all.

The excited kids; just delighted to see lots of people and lots of play-space, they are always so cute in their colourful outfits, jingly shoes and gleeful laughter.

The eager lovers; who spent heaven-knows how much time and money, preparing, planning and anticipating this perfect get-away. Can’t wait to be alone together or maybe after being alone together for a time, beats them that the fantasy is over and reality must once again be lived.

The impatient ladies; who still cannot fathom why things just can’t work better at airports. Why the cashier at the counter is so rude, why checking in is a long and arduous process (“…is all of this really necessary, do I look like an Osama-inspired Mutallab? Besides I’m female, D’uh!”)

The frustrated business men; who always seem to be overwhelmed by deadlines, timelines and money lines (whatever that is), they still can’t figure out how the airlines do not seem to care that there are only 24 hours in a day, the bother of a 1 hour flight is just too much of…well, a bother. The more time is wasted, the more money is lost. When are they even gonna invent teleporting for humans sef?!

The happy friends; who are just glad to have caught up with each other again after eons of lost time. “Fancy meeting you here”, “what have you been up to since all this time ehn?”, “So are you married? Kids”

And finally, me, the curious on-looker. Just watching and enjoying imagining the stories behind all the people that rush by, it’s like someone out there pushed the fast forward button.

Hmmm…I do love airports. The sights. The sounds, and the over-priced shops.

About Life and labels

So I was out with a guy one evening (read: date) and then we got talking trynna get to know each other a little better ;), and then he asked me the loathsome (using the term lightly) question; "would you say you're a good girl or a bad girl?". I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow at him, I finally told him I wasn't even gonna dignify the question with an answer. Maybe it's just me but I find that question very...what's the word I’m looking for...unjustifiable and undignified. I'll tell you why:

First; who is the judge of who's a good girl and who's a bad girl? Who's making up the rules? What are the terms?

Secondly; how do you class it, based on past, present and future actions? How does motive play on your verdict, because there is a very clear (albeit relatable) distinction between thoughts, motives and actions.

Finally; why would you ask me that question? What are you trynna establish or prove and to whom? Do you really expect me to subject my noble self to your inquiry as to my honest answer to your ego-tripping question????

I can imagine how brash I might sound now but it’s only reflective of how much this issue grates me. Imagine you and a guy (that you might even like) on the rocky road to a stable relationship and the next thing you know, you are are made to feel like you must have had a past, present and future that will impress him and his plans to court you or not. Like, anything you say (or have said), do (or have done) and think (or have thought) can and will be used against you in the biased court of his mind. That is just too much unnecessary pressure on a young single girl in the 21^st (or is it 22^nd) century I must say.

Am I a bad girl based on your opinion as a ‘evaluator’ who grew up in a nunnery or seminary and have only known life from that perspective?

Am I a good girl based on your opinion as someone who grew up in the Columbian or Italian mafia or drug cartel?

Is there a constitution or world standard on the exact protocol guide on the acts of a good/bad girl?

Am I a good/bad girl because I did some things in the past? What if I don’t do them again, am I still a good/bad girl?

Am I a good/bad girl because I am doing some things now that have not really become a habit with me?

Am I a good/bad girl because I have not yet done some things that I might be planning to do or have done but have not yet been evident?

What of if I am thinking of some good/bad things but not yet have done them either because I don’t have the gall to or because I am still mulling over it?

What of if I do the ‘best’ stuff but with the most evil expectations, what does that make me?

Why would you ask me if I am good or bad? What answer do you really expect? What about you? What would you say about yourself? That said, do you think you are in a good position to adjudicate against me?

I am not a good girl because I do not have lots of sex with random men (could be frigidity) and I am not a bad girl because I do (could be virility); simply because sex is not enough as a basis for that.

Yeah! Forgive me for also having an ego and a pretty good dose of self esteem, enough to say, stuff what you think! You can make your own judgment, I can't control that, so please keep it to yourself, but I really do not care how that plays out.

The Bible is my basis and my constitution and the only way to know good or bad is; by the Lord’s commandments and ‘by their fruits’. If that is really so, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Period!

The great escape

Once again i take a trip. A trip to my favourite place. My place of escape. To the place of my fantasy. A trip into the far recesses of my mind. A short but worthwhile trip cos ever so often I go on my great escape but it can only be a pit-stop because i cannot set up shop right here, If not.... (There’s a medical term for that condition and I really do not fancy labels)

Anyways so I get into my cabin in the woods by the lake. No, I don’t need to go in or unpack…I set myself up in my favourite spot; the well-cushioned swing bench on the porch. As I look out over the lake and surrounding trees swaying lazily in the cool summer breeze, I just lean back into the unending softness of the mounds of pillows. As I close my eyes I let the jazz music from the ancient boom box in the kitchen waft all over and around me, and the swing moves really slowly, back and forth, to the rhythm of the wind.

Oooh I could stay here like this forever, it seems like time has stood still for me. There is peace and serenity and all’s well with the world, the world’s alright with me…..Hmmm-mmmh, this is where I wanna be……..