Saturday, February 13, 2010

About Life and labels

So I was out with a guy one evening (read: date) and then we got talking trynna get to know each other a little better ;), and then he asked me the loathsome (using the term lightly) question; "would you say you're a good girl or a bad girl?". I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow at him, I finally told him I wasn't even gonna dignify the question with an answer. Maybe it's just me but I find that question very...what's the word I’m looking for...unjustifiable and undignified. I'll tell you why:

First; who is the judge of who's a good girl and who's a bad girl? Who's making up the rules? What are the terms?

Secondly; how do you class it, based on past, present and future actions? How does motive play on your verdict, because there is a very clear (albeit relatable) distinction between thoughts, motives and actions.

Finally; why would you ask me that question? What are you trynna establish or prove and to whom? Do you really expect me to subject my noble self to your inquiry as to my honest answer to your ego-tripping question????

I can imagine how brash I might sound now but it’s only reflective of how much this issue grates me. Imagine you and a guy (that you might even like) on the rocky road to a stable relationship and the next thing you know, you are are made to feel like you must have had a past, present and future that will impress him and his plans to court you or not. Like, anything you say (or have said), do (or have done) and think (or have thought) can and will be used against you in the biased court of his mind. That is just too much unnecessary pressure on a young single girl in the 21st (or is it 22nd) century I must say.

Am I a bad girl based on your opinion as a ‘evaluator’ who grew up in a nunnery or seminary and have only known life from that perspective?

Am I a good girl based on your opinion as someone who grew up in the Columbian or Italian mafia or drug cartel?

Is there a constitution or world standard on the exact protocol guide on the acts of a good/bad girl?

Am I a good/bad girl because I did some things in the past? What if I don’t do them again, am I still a good/bad girl?

Am I a good/bad girl because I am doing some things now that have not really become a habit with me?

Am I a good/bad girl because I have not yet done some things that I might be planning to do or have done but have not yet been evident?

What of if I am thinking of some good/bad things but not yet have done them either because I don’t have the gall to or because I am still mulling over it?

What of if I do the ‘best’ stuff but with the most evil expectations, what does that make me?

Why would you ask me if I am good or bad? What answer do you really expect? What about you? What would you say about yourself? That said, do you think you are in a good position to adjudicate against me?

I am not a good girl because I do not have lots of sex with random men (could be frigidity) and I am not a bad girl because I do (could be virility); simply because sex is not enough as a basis for that.

Yeah! Forgive me for also having an ego and a pretty good dose of self esteem, enough to say, stuff what you think! You can make your own judgment, I can't control that, so please keep it to yourself, but I really do not care how that plays out.

The Bible is my basis and my constitution and the only way to know good or bad is; by the Lord’s commandments and ‘by their fruits’. If that is really so, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Period!

1 comment:

Harry-Rami Itie said...

Nice one... mos def YADA Material