Monday, September 26, 2011

Dilemma of a single girl

- The temptation to settle for less.
- The pressure from everyone around you to "reduce your standards"
- The view from everyone that you are not serious.
- The nagging need for companionship
- The tick tock of the absurd 'biological clock'
- These darn hormones raging like was going out of fashion
- And finally those pesky statistics that a man (quite obviously) made up specially to scare the pants off us.
 So i heard this piece by Janette....ikz of P4CM and it reminded me why i should stay focused and on track and how easy it is to do so....Just say NO!
Earlier this year i made the resolution to always do right (as much as is within my superhuman capabilities *wink wink*) and to always say the truth no matter how hard it is and who might get hurt, all the while being mindful of others (in other words, not to be an insensitive beyotche) knowing that the only way to be original is to be truthful in the famous words of C. S. Lewis.
I want to live.
I want to live well
I want to live fully.
I most definitely want to live long.
When you're single....Heck! what do i really know of it. I'm not an authority on Single-dom ( I am not a movie-stereotype of a spinster int he Big city) I'm just trying to navigate it's murky waters myself. That is not to mistake that i'm an authority on committment-hood either (no siree!, in fact marriage and committed relationships used to scare the sense off me), that was until i met someone i am convinced must be an Angel (another story for another day)
Anyways find a video below that keeps me going. It's a spoken word piece by Janette...Ikz (mentioned above) titled 'I will wait for you'. I hope it can feed someone's soul like it has done mine. :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Things no one ever told me

When you're young and starting out in Life, no one ever tells you that the people you've known and loved all of your life, the ones you never knew you could live without will someday leave your life: Sometimes they move, sometimes you move, sometimes you drift apart. Sometimes they want to, sometimes you want them to, sometimes you need them to end. Sometimes, even more finally, they die.
I have, however, learned that even though you never expect this to happen-you hope even that it never happens-it does happen and most times there is nothing you can do about it. In all of these happenings, I have also learned that you survive each and every 'leaving', each and every season, each and every encounter.
I can't promise that it gets easier with time. I can't promise that the dull nagging ache will eventually leave your heart. I definitely can't promise that the 'leaving' will end soon enough, but what i can promise is that it will not kill you and that whatever does not kill you surely will make you stronger. I can also guarantee that sometimes the 'leaving' creates a little more room to encounter the vast riches of the human experience; where knowing people has it's seasons and is usually for a reason. I can say it leaves no room for doubt that when the rubber hits the road the only person you have for sure is you and God, so you might as well nurture that relationship. I can also say that every chance encounter is not without its purpose.
After all is said and done, it makes you a stronger, wiser, richer and more mature person and i sure as anything can guarantee that all of this is worth every throbbing ache you'd ever feel.
I should know!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Please forgive me.

When I saw you lying on that hospital bed reality hit me, hard. I realized how close i was to losing you forever. I knew i couldn't go another day without saying what I've needed to say for the longest time. These words are my own, from my heart: 

For every furrow I ever put in your brow.
For every teardrop I let come to your eye.
For every frown I ever let crease your face.
For every word of anger I let come from your lips.
For every nick I put in your heart.
For every sour taste I left in your mouth.
For every memory I left in your thought.
For every restless night I gave you.
For every worrisome day I caused you.
For not letting you know how much you mean to me.
For loving you a little too much for your good.
For every moment of regret I made you feel.
For not leaving your life better than I met it.
For ever hurting you in even the slightest way.
For everything wrong I ever did.
For everything right I'd never do.
For all of these and more,
With my hat (and gloves) in hand, my puppy dog face in place, fingers pulling at my ears...I am really truly very sorry and I apologize for being my selfish, silly, reckless self.
In case I never let you know before, I cared for you-a great deal-and I probably always will. It never wavered and it endures still.
Please forgive me for being typically me. :(

Bleeding Heart

My heart bleeds red hot tears for Northern Nigeria;
For all the lives lost in this mindless battle
For the floods of tears from the eyes of the bereaved mothers.
For the pain that fills the hearts of the widows
For the unsung hurt the men are ashamed to feel
For the shaking and the shivering, the tremors felt all over, not because of the cold weather but because of the inexplicable pain that the mind cannot comprehend.
For the anger, the malice and the misunderstood judgement weaved into the fabrics of the hearts of the ones who are supposed to be proponents of peace.
For the fear and insecurity in the eyes of the children who are unsure of what grave sins the past committed to warrant such a bloody present and the reality of an undecided future.
For the despair of the father for the fate of the family he is unable to protect.
My heart bleeds for Northern Nigeria. Red hot tears for my beloved Northern Nigeria. My pride. My Beauty. My Regal Queen. The Majestic crown on the pate of Nigeria.
For Abuja, for Jos, for Maiduguri, for Kaduna, our princesses stumbling off their royal steeds, our joy.
I still believe that someday, like a phoenix, Nigeria shall rise out of the ashes that bemoan Her battered past and like the legendary Spirit(stallion of the cimarron) ride back into promises untold.

I especially love this song because it shows us a part of Africa (Nigeria too) we'd like to believe isn't there. A part of us we wish we could ignore. A part of us we don't like to take responsibility for. If we don't stand our ground and protect our portion, our land, who will? This isn't the time to be calm and suave when our house is caving in over our heads.