So where was I..... Ah i remember now:
Anyways, all this while i tried and did everything to make him break up with me (trust me, everything in the book) but still for some reason he kept coming back. And still i prayed some more. My prayer was for him to get to a point where we could break up (hopefully, amicably, but if not anyways) but still be OK with each other because he really isn't a bad person.
Fast forward to today; So i was in church and the message of the day was talking about having 'buts' in our lives and getting rid of those 'buts' and it really hit home with me and i really needed this to be over and done with and i prayed again.
As soon as i got home, i called Adam cos i felt we needed to talk but couldn't get through to him. About an hour later he calls and says in the most amicable manner how he was in church and the message of the day got to him and had him thinking...long story short he feels like we should be just friends. It completely stunned me, not because i was upset but because it was just soooo surprising but i have never been gladder.
Glad because God obviously does answer prayers.
Glad because He has no reason to but God really does pay attention to my seemingly silly pleas
Glad because it is finally over
Glad because a burden has been lifted off my shoulders
Glad because the lies are finally over
Glad because now i know that new and better things are coming my way
Glad to be openly and completely single
A little bit hurt definitely (breaking up is never easy) but i know this is the right thing to do and i am on the right path finally and i am glad about that too.
For the first time in a long time i can be naked and unashamed, free to be.
A little nervous cos i feel vulnerable to Adam, like he knows my weaknesses and i am filled with trepidation about stepping out into this new 'place' without him but it sure feels like sunshine is at my doorstep. and i can fly on the wings of the winds. So light and breezy, no greater feeling and I'm loving it.