Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Diagnosis: Despondency

Heartache
(n) a physical pain in/around the heart, felt just about the upper left region of the torso.

Causes:
Emotional distress, loss of a loved one, estrangement from a lover, disagreement with/ between lovers and/or love and distance between love or/and lovers.

Symptoms:
Most common symptoms include shortness of breath, increase rate of heart-beat, mild insomnia, slight loss of orientation, inability to ingest properly, loss of appetite, tenderness in the chest region especially around the left side. All this may or may not be followed by a slight headache.
Migraine, fever and twitching may be observed in more severe cases.

Recommended treatment:
The most common forms of treatment include; Ice cream binges (but be advised not to get addicted because the side effects are disastrous especially to the hips and mid-section), another form is splurging and shopping (side effects of these are very costly which could make complete treatment unaffordable). The third form of treatment involves a procedure called Prayer, this course of action although not as easy as it seems is most definitely not as hard as one might think, more so it’s the only procedure the patient is allowed to get addicted to and doesn’t have side-effects( it comes highly recommended from both patients and other practitioners)
Two other less recommended forms of treatment are; going on a rebound, and therapy, but these are still experimental as their efficacy cannot be vouched.
My personal recommendation would be to write: Journal it or blog it, whichever suits you better (It’s working for me).

If symptoms persist then be advised to wait for the ‘inconvenience’ to run its course, with a coupla good comedies and movies (especially Indian ones:-)), chicken soup, long walks and some R & R, you’ll be fine and dandy and on the road to recovery ( not to talk of normalcy in no time).

Dr. Bliss ;-)

3 comments:

Harry-Rami Itie said...

Lovely one..Ice Cream works for me too...

RocNaija said...

Sounds pretty much like 'heartbache' to me... :D

Did anyone you know take the good doctors recommendation then?

Wise Sage said...

@ Roc naija
which particulaar recommendation are you referring to here?