Wednesday, September 24, 2008

What's the deal?

Sometimes I wonder (not out loud, at the risk of getting mobbed by them fundamentalists) why African and more specifically Nigerian foods and clothes are never without at least a tinge of stress. I mean from the most basic to the more celebratory, our outfits, foods and even celebrations are always synonymous with "a Lil over the top", we give life to the phrase 'going overboard'.

OK, let's start with our clothes; I'm still at a loss whose outfits are more "stressful" between the Indians and Nigerians, yeah they wear Saris and they are not just like press buttons to wear, i mean much more skill is needed to wear a sari correctly than to make love, but when you look at the simpleness of the saris and more so salwar kameez suits...but when it comes to a traditional Nigerian outfit, before we even go too far the gele takpamkpa, head gears and what-nots are a different ball game entirely. I remember two people spending over thirty minutes trynna tie the gele for my cousin who was getting married (get a load of that), did i neglect to mention that it was two geles at once, the day before was the whole beading process, makes me shudder to think of my own wedding day(s). I daresay if you're not tying something on top, you're twisting something at the bottom or smack dab in the middle.

Do not even get me started on our foods and recipes; the pounded yams, fufus, akpus, starch and bangas...i could go on forever. As far as the average Nigerian is concerned if it's cooked in under 30 minutes it can't be done enough to eat. The whole fast food thing hasn't even begun to sink in their minds yet. The average man sizes his wife up by her ability to clean and cook and not just the basics, I'm talking bout hard-hitting stuff here. I mean i went for a job interview and was asked if i knew how to cook (uh?) to which i answered "yes,"
the next question outta the interviewers mouth was "what's the best thing you can cook"
and i replied " Plantain"
and then he looked at me stunned and was like " Maybe you didn't hear the question, i said the best thing you can cook?" to which i repeated my answer and he kept looking at me incredulously that your final still have two lifelines...are you sure, final answer. I mean hang a Nigerian girl for enjoying eating junk-food and cooking plantain?
It's like having a hard life is the culture, as for me, i beg to differ.

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