Runteldat

The Message; the world today, see I had been seeing this time and again, until I saw it in a different light. If at least one person can relate, see and understand then my work here is done. You may not like it but you cannot argue the truth therein.

..... but God's angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth. But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse.

What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in His hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.

So God said, in effect, "If that's what you want, that's what you get." It wasn't long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshipped the god they made instead of the God who made them- the God we bless, the God who blesses us. Oh yes!

Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn't know how to be human either-women didn't know how to be women; men didn't know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men-all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh how they paid for it-emptied of God and love, loveless wretches.

Since they didn't bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. And then all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering and cheating. Look at them: mean-spirited, venomous, fork-tongued God-bashers. Bullies, swaggerers, insufferable wind-bags! They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. They ditch their parent when they get in the way. Stupid, slimy, cruel, cold-blooded. And it's not as if they don't know better. They know perfectly well they are spitting in God's face. And they don't care-worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!

The Game

Can someone please tell me the rules of 'the game' and how it works. I now know for sure I'm not one to be termed 'playa'.
So i was on my way to work today, in fact very close to my office when this guy who nearly cleared me off the road with his car went up a few metres ahead and stopped his car. Since he made no attempts to get down out of the car i figured he was either seeking to apologize or ask for directions. It turned out i wasn't absolutely wrong. He was seeking something alright....my number. Anyways, as i was walking past him, almost waiting for him to call out an apology but instead he call out- "Excuse me, Hi. I'm....(for this purpose we'll call him trey cos he reminds me of trey songz a lil bit)...Trey (like i care).
And I'm like-"OK"
"I'm sorry to bother you ...." 
at that point i interrupted, "Yeah, you kinda are cos I'm already pretty late for work"
So he says "In that case is it OK if i get your number so we can talk sometime?"
Then i laughed in a funny quirky way and said "My number? Why? Why do  you want my number? Why would i give it to you?"
From this point i can't recall the exact conversation but i i know it went back and forth like that until we got to where i said " You know what, I can't give you my number but if you give me your card or number i might give you a call.
Then he goes " No, please that's not good enough, I really want your number...."
Anyways, eventually i gave him my word, he gave  me his card and i just kept right on walking. Good thing is that at that time i got an incoming call from my sister, Hurrah for the distraction excuse. Just when i thought it was over, he pulls up again, beside me this time and offers to 'push me'. The irony of the free ride when I've already paid, I'm late but less than a 100 metres from the entrance to my office. Yeah Right!
So there ends the gist of Trey and I. Now my dilemma: 
Honestly even though i gave him my word, I really don't wanna call him. How am i sure that calling him is not giving him the go-ahead to start 'toasting'? Best believe that I'm sooooo not in the mood for all of that right now.
How do i know that if i call him, he will understand that if anything, all i want is to try and be friends? If he should utter a single suggestive word, I'm gonna regret calling him (name change at that point form trey to punk-a**).
What do i do?
Do i throw away the card and my word or do i risk exposing myself to someone who might as well be a psychopath as much as he could be a real good friend. But really, was it friendship he was honestly looking for when he pulled over? I don't have the time or energy for any sorta man-drama. heck, I've not even called and I'm getting a 3-part mini-serial already. Sheesh!

Mad, black single female

You know how it always seems like a good idea to get over last person you were in a relationship with using (for lack of a better word) the next person you meet but it never works out quite that way? I think the English dictionary calls it rebound.
You always feel like it's gonna work this time, and you're always wrong.

You always end up in a lose-lose situation, you don't get over the last person you were with and you're unable to move forward or to have anything meaningful with the next person.
You start something you can't finish and then crawl outta the rink looking out for respite.
Yeah well, if madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result then i'm as crazy as Aro full of loonies.

Legend of the seeker

A lot is said of how hate, malice and grudges are a dead weight to live with and carry around but not enough is said about The Guilty Conscience. Another dead weight that eats at you slowly yet constantly until there's nothing left of your soul. Secrets are the feeders for the guilty conscience but on the other hand who do confessions benefit?
The confessor? Who feels horrible for being the exposer of the secrets that could scar the other person (confessee) probably for the rest of their life. How would he/she ever sleep again? Could they ever be at peace with themselves again knowing the pain they've revealed? Would the confessor not be filled with constant regret over this? Then again getting it off your chest could be a big relief, not wondering what would happen if/when the truth gets out.
Or the Confessee? Who hears a truth they were hitherto unaware of- ergo living in the bliss of ignorance- and consequently their life, heart and soul is forever scarred by the hurt, pain and/or betrayal of the revealed. Is it not true that what you don't know doesn't hurt you? On the contrary, though, all the doubts are removed by revelation and you are able to deal and move on.
So my question is this: are confessions overrated?

To me. On my birthday.

Now this is a song I love to pieces and Most of the words reflect how I feel. This is apt especially on this day. My birthday. I love me and I know I am not a perfect person even if I am as close as it gets (wink wink) but as much as I try (and hope) to improve on this person, I cannot apologize for who I am. C'mon who is perfect, Really?
Brandy Camouflage 
I´m a work in progress
I´m a seed growin' into a flower
I´m a storm that´s rising
I'm getting stronger with every hour
And God knows I ain´t perfect
Tell me who in the world is
All I know is that I´m searchin
For somebody to love me with

These flaws I´ve got
There apart of who I am
Take me or not
But I finally understand
I´m so done trynna to be
everything you want
And I had to stop
Cause baby you ain´t worth it
if I gotta Camouflage
For love, for love
No I won't Camouflage
For love, for love
I won't Camouflage

I need a lot of improvement
Not even half way to destiny
But I´m a train that´s moving
And everyday I´m picking up speed
And God knows you ain´t perfect
So who are you to put pressure on me
that´s why I´m still searchin
For somebody to love me with

These flaws I´ve got
They're apart of who I am
Take me or not
but I finally understand
And I´m so done trynna to be
everything you want 
cause I had to stop
Because baby you ain´t worth it
if I gotta Camouflage
For love, for love
No I won't Camouflage
For love, for love
I won't Camouflage

I´ve learned from my mistakes
The only way you´re gonna be happy
Is if someone's down to take
you when it´s good and
it´s bad you see
I tried giving half of me
In the end I came up empty
And that´s why I´m searching yeah
For somebody to love me
with these flaws

These flaws I´ve got
There apart of who I am
Take me or not
But I finally understand
I´m so done tryna to be
everything you want
And I had to stop
Because baby you ain´t worth it
if I gotta to Camouflage
These flaws I´ve got
There apart of who I am
Take me or not
But I finally understand
I´m so done trying to be
everything you want
And I had to stop
Because baby you ain´t worth it
if I gotta to Camouflage
For love, for love
No I won't Camouflage
For love, for love
I won't Camouflage

If I gotta Camouflage

Cause baby you ain´t worth it
If I gotta camouflage
Baby you ain't worth it
If I gotta Camouflage


Disclaimer: this is not a cry for help or love and it's words do not 100 percent reflect how i feel, but you get the drift, Innit?

Stuff only dreams are made of

The car comes to a halt in front of my office just as i step out of the double glass doors. I can't see anyone through the tinted windows and i can't help but wonder who it could be. Not until you step out, then all my wondering is brought to an abrupt halt, there's a big smile on my face and you can tell that I'm glad to see you. You walk up to me with a smile on your face and that look in your eyes, the look that churns my insides. i recognize the Calvin Klein scent that always precedes you. Your finely tailored Armani suit rests perfectly on you, beneath it your immaculately white well-pressed shirt. All these are lost on me as you get to me and hold my hands to your chest, look deep into my eyes and ask me to do you the honour of taking your last name and spending the rest of my life with you. I stare at you shell-shocked until....

Just saying...

They say "crime doesn't pay", does that mean my job is a crime?